Nightmares....

Last night my youngest son gave me holy medals dangling from a long silver chain.  The relics cast a bluish, pearly light, as he put the chain around my neck.  I had a rash on my legs that was very red, painful and somewhat overwhelming.  All of this while running, lost and frightened and seemingly abandoned, in a very strange area of alley's that were desolate and destroyed (kind of creepy) and flood waters were coming up fast!

Nightmares... (not the worst I have ever had, if I were to have the gift of total recall I would have surpassed Stephen King in successful horror works, by now).

The end of the world... this Saturday (in case you did not know), deadlines, floods, aging grandmother, bills to pay, meetings, woods fires, lawn care, laundry, drought, gas prices, allergies, the death of a friend, a big family wedding, children to be born, children already here, my plate is heaping.

Is this my life?
No, no not all of it.  There are good parts, beautiful, I never want to miss a minute of it, parts...but it seems that you have to work harder to keep those items on the surface, visible and calming in your mind.  The hectic, harsh, overwhelming things, storm right up and pound on the door of your senses and always seem to cause such a strong reaction.  They refused to be kept out, they will fight you during the day, make you tense and crabby and then they will follow you home at night and crawl right up next to you on your pillow...they know you are going to fall asleep sometime! So, they snuggle up and wait until you are deep in slumber and have let go of the wheel, your guard is down, you are at rest...it is then that they climb in only to reek more havoc.

If you can remain mindful, if you can remember to breath and picture the beauty or look for it along your path, it will make a difference to the monsters in your head, even late at night.  Yes, they are strong and pushy, relentless as a matter of fact.
But the more you work on focus and peace, the more you will receive it, even in your dreams!

The medals from my loving son, were really a gift from my Father who recently passed.  I have been thinking about Kenny because I wear a watch he have me everyday.  I feel it keeps him close to me, just as the medals do for me, from my Dad.  I am sentimental and having things near me that came from people that I love means something to me.
The rash, gee I do not know, but I know in the dream that I tried to keep it hidden.  Interestingly enough, I have been working really hard on NOT fixing everything for everyone.  Many people rely on me and I am such a "fixer" (nurturer, mother) I will manage things for people and overextend myself.  I have found it really hard to not immediately offer a solution or take care of them or the issue.  I hold myself quiet and let them work on it a bit...it does not feel like me, but it is a needed change, for both me and the others.  Maybe that was my rash, the change is itchy and uncomfortable and I really cannot talk too much with others about it.  It is just not me!
As for alley's and flooding, well that is par for the course in my area and my line of work, so I guess I am just running from all of it before it overtakes me.  Not to worry though, I am at my best when things are at the worst.
Just remember, if you look for good and try to keep it close to your heart and memory, it will help to protect you from the monsters in your sleep, as well as those who dare to show up in the light.  Be thankful, be joyful and look for the good in your life...take care of yourself!